What is conflict? How and why does it occur?
The dictionary’s definition of conflict is “a competitive or opposing action of incompatibles: antagonistic state or action (as of divergent ideas, interests, or persons)”
What if that’s not all there is to it? What if there’s something else possible?
What if conflict isn’t just inevitable, what if it’s a choice?
The next time you can feel a conflict beginning, try the following 3 steps…
Reaction is one of the quickest ways that a simple conversation can escalate into conflict. If you take a deep breath and give yourself some space rather than react, you’ve already begun de-escalating and creating something new.
Conflict usually begins with two people or two groups disagreeing on about a point of view. Both “sides” believe that their position is the correct one, and the only option is to defend and push their point of view through.
Did you know it’s possible to let go of that fight without giving up or giving in?
If you choose to be a different energy, one that’s willing to listen and ask “what else is possible®?” you may just find that something completely different can show up.
A question typically opens up a conversation.
When you are the first to ask a question, you begin to lead the conversation. You also shift the energy from defending and reacting to finding a possible solution that could work out better for everyone.
Watch out…. a conclusion with a question mark at the end isn’t the same as a true question. True questions increase your awareness, open up possibilities and leave you feeling lighter and more expansive.
Questions to ask yourself:
• What’s possible here that I haven’t considered?
• If I didn’t need to be “right”, what would be possible?
• If I didn’t have this point of view what would I be aware of?
• If I choose this what will it create?
• What can I be, do or say here that would create something different?
Questions to ask the person you are engaging with:
• What are we aware of that we have not considered?
• If we choose this what will it create?
• What else is possible?
• What can we be or do here that would create something different?
And guess what? All of these tools work whether the conflict is with someone else or just with yourself.